| I miss Old times |
[16 Jul 2005|08:59pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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Life is sad and Depressing most of the time thats all I have to say
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| I know this is only a few ..but we BOTH know there are many more Memories<3 |
[15 Jul 2005|11:16pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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SO i just got back from hanging with Good old Heather and Hailey and Allison and lance for like an hour we went to RedRobin and they got food but I didnt have any money so i got a frekled lemonaid ..yumm... Allison for sure broke a cup it was to funny...but at the end the bill was $48 and lance payed for the whole thing..felt kinda bad but ohhh well he was on his cell phone the whole time and who cares lol..then came home just hung around Hailey and Heather and Allison lance took off.
KIRK came for about 11 days...wow Some real good times we had!!
went up north that was really fun went swimming
" ohh Shittt thats my shampoo bottle "
sat around the fire pit thing and made somores
had another fire with my dad and uncle and it was just kirk and I and my dad kept making us crack up with these fake teeth ..haha
OMFG 2nd day up north before we stoped at my grandparents house we went to this little fair thing at this park on the lake..it was really fun Jodie and I and Kirk went on the Tilt-a-whirl and kirk kept cracking up at my face I guess it was to funny he wouldnt stop laughing!!
We went into town a couple times it was fun we walked the pier that was nice ..kirk kept getting nervous because of the edge lol. We got ice cream that was fun too..I guess every little thing is fun when you dont see someone that offten at all
We went to the zoo also we took my little sister and my cousin hannah whos like9 it was pretty eventful, Rode bikes and rented some movies watched them together <3
went to royal oak with Gina that was fucking hilarious some guy came up to kirk and said something about modleing and asked him if he was avalible monday at 6:30, I was like NOOO he wont be here so bye.went to acouple shops there to
and kirk that one store was not an all girl store weirdo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
went to the movies later that night saw longest yard it was pretty funny I liked it, after that we went to bakersquare and got grilled cheese and pie.
the last day was the sadest thing ever ..I kept crying and wouldnt stop ..we went out to eat with Amanda we took her to some pizza place it was alright.
Airports are kinda really sad to me, like on the way to the airport to pick kirk up I kept looking at all the signs all I kept thinking about was how im going to have to return to this very exact place before I know it to drop him off and i will be fucking crying instead of excited i will be freaking out because hes leaving..I hate it.Before I knew it our time together has come and gone it fucking goes by so fast..im going to see him Aug 11th -Aug 14th but thats only 2 full days..kinda blows ..but im lucky to be going and that his family is leting me come!!<3I love him so much!!!
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[27 Jun 2005|09:50pm] |
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mood |
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Today..ehh was all right I guess talked to Amanda and her brother that was ooh fun usually when your talking to someone for like 15 minutes in your front yard ..its not fun but on this rare occasion it was because that girl never gets to see anyone..Shit this kinda sucks Kirk and I wanted to take Amanda out Friday to breakfast for her birthday but supposedly IM leaving to go up north that morning ..hmm maybe it can work
I don't know what I would do without that grrl she cracks me up and not only that she's one hell of a bestfriend hell yeah !!
I love how some people just disappear out of your life .. seriously i hate it .. don't bother to call anymore or to hang out ....grr this sucks I miss em.
well on a better note Kirk comes in 3 days I really can not wait IM so excited I <3 him so much... <33
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[13 Jun 2005|12:25pm] |
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mood |
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Not much to say except for this summer fucking sucks so far....
haven't really had a good conversation with Kirk lately with out fighting..
been bored out of my mind and whenever I call Kirk he seems to be like not in the mood to talk to me or something I guess wish we huh had conversations like we did where he wouldn't stop talking and when he did I always had something to say..now its like huh whose going to talk now. I know it will get better though. I cant wait till he comes out here that will be the highlight of my summer a whole 10 days of pure happiness and then it will be gone like that and it will go back. during the weekdays heather and I have been working out everyday so far its really fun considering I do nothing the other 22 hours of my day well the only reason IM only updating this thing is because umm IM bored shit i got to go and get a book to read for the summer ...haha I will just read all fucking summer ....wow I fucking miss Amanda like no other .I have been realizng how we are still best friends but never hang out ...only see eachother in the rare occasion I see her outside and go over and talk for only a couple mintutes....it use to be so much fun hanging out with her to...God what is this
Kirk I love you
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| This Mix cd is Last summer <3 |
[05 Jun 2005|11:36am] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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Today it has officially been a year last year TODAY I met Kirk!!!
SOOO HAPPY but this summer is Different from last Kirk Graduates Hopefully!!!
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| this poem is kinda sad |
[19 May 2005|05:48pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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Memories of your teenage years will last forever
Years will come and go in your life,
but it seems that your teenage years
are both the happiest
and the saddest of them all.
you are happy you made it this far,
and you are sad that so many
of your carefree days are gone.
but the memories you have
can never be taken away:
memories of dances attended
and dances missed,
of that one and only person
you loved ( and those whose name you forgot the following week)
of teachers who made
an impression on you
and whom you will remember
for the rest of your life,
and of all the people who have faith in you
to make it all the way through.
Dolores Y. Patton
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| Best weekend of my LIFE |
[16 May 2005|02:11pm] |
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Thrusday I left after school to fly to Illinois to see KIRK ..so it was my first airplane ride alone...it was kinda freaky at first but it was really fun!! SO i arive there at 6 and him and his mom pick me up and we go back to his house and eat pizza then we went over to his Grandmas house..his grandma is a really sweet lady, then we went to his work so he could show me it..and met some ppl...kinda weird...then went to see jake ( his brother ) at work that was fun lol and then came home and watched a movie in his room ..when we were just laying in his bed he got up and was like " well I wanted to give this to you tomorrow but I cant wait " awh he gave me this really Pretty braclet its hard to explain its like multicolor beeds with green and blue.. ( thanks Im wearing it now lol I love it ) During the movie I guess we both fell asleep because at like 1 his mom got home and told him to come up stairs " lets go Kirk " lol * kirk * ..haha
Friday *** PROM NIGHT ***
Friday woke up took a shower and went to go get my hair done I was really nervous about that..and Kirk watched me the whole damn time...lol it turned out really nice I thought then we went back to his house and got all ready...it was fun getting ready ...PROM was so amazing I cant even write out everything from this weekend ..so many details and good times it would take forever...They played our song..we were so excited about that..dinner was nice ...lol I convinced kirk that star fruit was a star fish..weirdo.. we went with kirks friend lereto Sp? It was so much fun being there with kirk it was one night I will never forget ..and I love that it is his senior prom and his first one also so he will always rememeber it..and So will I because its my First one <3
<3 ( sorry kirk for leaving alot of stuff out of it ..but thats mine and your memories ) <3
Saturday we just hung out for a little bit then we went to the mall and took some funny pictures in the little photo both thing ..** Memories **
then we left after walking around and going in stores we went back to his house for only a couple and then we were off to the movies ..we saw house of wax..I liked it..pretty creepy but we had a great time Thanks for the Goo Goo dolls cd and Dvd!!!
Sunday was fucking sad I woke up in his bed because well that is were I slept he slept up stairs..but anyways I woke up and it hit me that fuck today I am leaving ...I hate that feeling its one feeling I will always have because we live in two different states.. so he came down and we layed together for awhile just like everyother morning and then got ready and went to the Crows nest its a music store pretty sweet ..I bought him a slipknot cd which ..all I have to say is..No it was not LOL
and I got a tori amos cd!! then we went and developed our film from prom and then went and got his grandma ..awh she gave me socks lol kirk
we went back to his house to have cake for My birthday because his mom wanted to it really ment alot to me sence on my 16th birthday only abby and my sister were there to sing to me ...but hey It made up for that ..I really love kirks family ..everyone is nice..his mom is such a wonderful person... I Really had a great time ..now that I am home its sick ..I hate it here ..its so open there and I miss it !!
The airport was fucking sad ..I left kirk and off I went gave him a kiss and a hug and that was that...left to come back to this wondeful!
I finally got to go to Romeoville !!
Liv rocks !!
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| Lets bless me with you |
[03 May 2005|08:29pm] |
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LoL I miss last year..... * getting peoples papers out of the trash * <3
we were all a bunch of stalkers !!! This year at school kinda sucks but not really....its gone by wayyyy fast...and im super excited i turn 16 May 11th its about fucking time ...no actully im kinda not that exctied..but i MIGHT be getting a car...I think my dad said something about a malibu ...but i dont really know ...im not yet ready to go take the road test but I will so have it before July so Kirk and I can go places..thats if he can even get his butt up here :-) <3
Tomorrow im not going to school I have decided because of Two reasons..shit today in weight tranning we got to weigh our selfs and shit I did lose weight but fuck ..still have alot of body fat lol ...im so going to get there one day..hopefully before we start school up again ..I can only hope..today i went to segment 2 of drivers tranning and there is this kid who looks i swear like a older zach liner ..shit what ever happend to him lol ...and there is this African american kid in my class who was in my last class who looks like tony shelton mixed with the guy from panic room the african american one with the lazy eye..LMFAO I was like Cracking up so hard....ohh well you would to if you seen him ...totall mix between the two !!
" I want a orange what up!! " - LMFAO Gina
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[01 May 2005|07:42pm] |
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mood |
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 damn computer |
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Friday- hung out with Abby for a little while..her Mom was going on a date and we helped her pick out some stuff ...and we watched Marilyn manson music videos because we were bored..then came home sat around did nothing then called up Lg and we went up to the fruit market got a fucking good apple ..and a raspberry icetea and bought a starbucks for him...walked home and sat on my front porch and talked to Kirk ..that on the other hand was not the better part of my day :-( ...But all is well now :-) :-)
Saturday- talked to Kirk then cleaned my room and around 4:30 went and picked up Whitney we went to the mall..and omg i was driving and almost got in an accident we were at a red light to turn right and this truck on the left side of me was in the turning lane to go the opposite way and it totally cut me off so I swerved into the next lane over and almost got hit by another truck...my dad was like Screw the ass hole what the hell is he thinking he was in the turning left lane you should have said screw him .. I was scared lol ..I hate parkinglots must say.....
...anyway went shopping with Whitney visited the mac counter got some flipping hot eye shadow for my dress so it will match haha. got shoes for my dress and so ....then we were waiting inline to pay for some shit and Whitney goes to try on a ring ..and it totally gets stuck and wont come off ..and she's all freaking out her face was turning so red..im like cracking up sooo hard and omg..could we make it any less noticeable ..so i was like okay so just spit on your finger so she did..but instead of spiting just a little ...she like spits a huge like spit ball and its like dripping on to the floor..sick .. then it eventually came off and she just sat it on the counter ..LMFAO .. haven't laughed that hard in like a good while. then just randomly tired on shit in stores it was fun.... Iwant this jacket thing from hot topic sooo bad ..IM going to get it..ohh i will .. lol
got Dropped off and called Kirk ..we talked and we did NOT fight.. I was so proud of us...really i was it was really nice to talk without someone always having an attitude..its usually one of us..haha I LOVE YOU KIRK !!!
Sunday- woke up and watched Finding never land..made my cry then talked to Kirk and that is pretty much all I have done today ..im about to go call him now
*** PROM 12 days ***
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[28 Apr 2005|06:42pm] |
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mood |
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I forsure have derricks planer ..it was left last hour
lol
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| IM FUCKING SAD !!! |
[22 Apr 2005|07:45pm] |
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mood |
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feeling a little blue |
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ACCEPTANCE LYRICS
"Take Cover"
She's a liar
It comes to this
All we had 'til now is gone
And I'm the other
Piece to this
Every time I feel this inside
I don't wanna be the one who...
Caught you
So take cover
Never saw it comin' so you put me on again
Had you and no other
The game, the lies are getting old
She starts feeling on her own
She makes the city seem like home
All you had for me is gone
I give and I give
But you hope in return
Never thought I'd be the one to burn
Every time I feel this inside
I don't wanna be the one to
I don't wanna be the one who...
Caught you
So take cover
Never saw it comin' so you put me on again
Had you and no other
The game, the lies are getting old
** I wonder if he ever thinks of her and what if **
I miss the old days where you trusted everyone and didn't have to worry about the what ifs !!!
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[21 Apr 2005|06:05pm] |
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mood |
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Hey Everyone !
Well today I got this package in the mail from the sony street team to advertise system of a Downs new cd ..I got posters and lots of stickers I have to put up places hand them out !!! I also got a pretty cool Shirt which I will be wearing tomorrow to advertise there new cd thats coming out soon !!!!!!
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[12 Apr 2005|09:56am] |
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Im So excited Thursday Maroon 5 with Whitney 2nd row!!
Kirk I LOVE youu!
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[06 Apr 2005|10:24am] |
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We are the ones who know best the meaning of 'goodbye';
Who cling fast to trinkets and pillows, when our arms cannot reach;
Whose bodies live in one place, our hearts and minds another.
To whom their scent is precious... and touch priceless.
We wait months for what many experience each day, and want nothing more.
We know what it is to reach out blindly in the night,
to be torn apart,
to dream of beautiful closeness.... mmm, closeness.
And, chances are, if you feel pangs every time you see a couple holding hands, or stay online for hours just waiting for the IM sound
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[06 Apr 2005|09:22am] |
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Thinking of YOU |
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This morning was good my so called life was on and I saw Memory which that made my morning right there And plus I got to talk to Kirk even though it was only for a little bit its okay it still made me happy. Hopefully he has a good day today :-) Yes yesterday my dad got me tickets so I can fly out to see Kirk May 12th thursday (which is a Day after my Birthday) so I can go to prom with him on friday and I will be coming back may 15 thats a sunday..YESS i'm supper supper excited to finally be going to see him I cant wait to see what his life is like over there!!!
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[04 Apr 2005|04:31pm] |
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SPRING BREAK '05
Friday- I went out to metro because Kirk was flying in and we left the house around 8ish and got there and sat for about an hour I was getting nervous just waiting looking at the screen at his flight..but then it was off the screen and I ran to where I could meet him because his plane had arrived then I waited there for about 15 minutes and then I got his call asking where i was and then before I knew it there he was walking my way couldn't pass this stupid line so i had to wait ..I wanted to run over to him so bad! GOD was I happy to see him and his Mom was really nice I thought it was really cool that I got to meet her. we talked with his Mom and him for about half hour maybe and then we left his Mom flew right back on the next flight she only came because he never flew before which was cool
Then we got home and went over to Amanda's and that was pretty fun it was kinda cold out though..amanda fell off her soccer ball LMFAO nice one !! Then we went inside and hung out and also went to the fruit market haha! Around 8 went in my hottub haha then took showers ;-)
Saturday we went to red robin with Gina for dinner that was neat Kirk met Gina's dad lol
Sunday we stayed home and decided not to go to church and we watched Fear and later at night we watched the worlds strongest boy and this tattoo show thing and ordered pizza it was really fun just staying in any being next to eachother I liked that night alot!
Monday morning we went up North..and cant forget we ate cereal together raisin bran crunch or something .. yumm.
On the way up north we went to the cracker barrel which was good yum I love there salads..Kirk and I both got grilled cheese then we continued to drive up north and we went straight to my grandma and grandpas house lol ! Then went on the beach and took pictures with his camera phone Later we we went to this Mexican restaurant where I burned my hand lol. then we went to the grocery store and got mint chocolate chip ice-cream sandwiches because we saw a commercial for cake with ice cream earlier on the tv and we got hungry for it. Then when we got home we went out on the beach it was so dark out and you could see the stars so good. and then watched more TV and waited for Stacy and Jodie and there friends to fall asleep then we hid in the closet and tried to scare them..it didn't work Kirk kept laughing and so did I so we just gave up maice woke up
Tuesday we went to my grandmas for lunch Kirk played checkers with my little sisters and then my grandma gave us brownies from Christmas with little Christmas trees on them LMFAO and then later ordered pizza went out on the beach wrestled in the sand he only went down once ..GRR and the watched fuse and laid on the couch together until we fell asleep!
Wednesday we woke up cleaned the house went out to the beach and just walked down by the water said good-bye and went to my grandmas got Kfc .. Sick i only ate rich NO chicken for me and we started driving home and stooped at a gas station got some food and all Kirk got was candy! on the way home the dog kept farting right next to Kirk LMFAO. Later we went out to eat with Abby at Baker Square and then went to the park after where we kinda played tag only Kirk was always it
Thursday Kirk and I watched Twister during the day and went to the fruit market and got a "feast " I loved making food with him it was fun He always got his Brownies .. then for dinner we went out to comos with Kelly and Jordan and Jodie it was nice
Friday was sad because it was his last night but it was really fun he went to the dentist with me and my sisters and the dentist kept telling Kirk that our teeth looked good and no cavities as if he was the dad or something lol and then we came home chilled for a bit got ready and took my dads car to go see the Ring 2 at the 6:30 show I Loved siting next to him in the movies it was something new that we haven't done before so it was pretty special I kept jumping and he kept laughing at me lol I would to I guess
Then we decided to go to baker square again just the two of us I enjoyed That a lot we got to talk and we ate grilledcheese together and Pie ..he had the first bite and I had the first bite of his we fed it to eachother lol !!
Saturday Was really sad my stomach was bothering me the whole day..Kirk said he didn't just want to lay in bed so we went down stairs and watched tv and then we wanted to go to the fruit market one last time ..and we both got cake and this soup/noodles stuff and drinks that was really sad we had to take him to the air port around 3:30 so we had to go up stairs and pack his stuff..Him and I cleaned my room of any thing that would remind me of him when he was gone ..or left over so i wouldn't have to clean it up by my self then we left and of course I already cried and we had to take a detour through Detroit to the airport and then we got there and talked to his Mom for about an hour about prom and all that
Then he had to leave to start boarding at 5:00 and so I walked IM as far as I could go because of security and I hugged him told him thanks for everything and I had so much fun and I loved him .. I couldn't help but cry then I watched him go through Security and i kept waving and blowing kisses he did the same thing back..and then I finally started walking away ..the saddest part was that and when I got to the doors to exit the airport where Kirk and I once waited for my dad...it was sad because Kirk was not there where we were once standing its so weird feeling!
That was pretty much my whole spring breah with less details it was the best and that amazing only because of one Truly special AMAZING person that I got to know better through the 8 days we spent together side by side.... KIRK I LOVE YOU Thanks for all our Memories we made and that cant be forgotten!!
" RAMHOLE "
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| teenage porn stars living for less now? |
[14 Mar 2005|05:57pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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its hard to belive around this time last year gina and I were dancing to 80's music in my room on a saturday night .. " hungry like a wolf or tainted love?" lol
Fucking disgusting berkley is like infested with rats..found one in my garbage can and saw like 3 other ones run ..that is just nasty it was hissing at Abby and I
** 11 DAYS Baby **
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| I ran to your heart to be Near |
[07 Mar 2005|07:41pm] |
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mood |
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today Sucked some big ass lmao well im only laughing because I tried to go jogging well i couldn't even get all the way down my block without stoping...I suck but tomorrow im going back on that diet thing because I did lose 7 lbs which you cant tell but I can kinda ..anyway today made me really upset...I miss Kirk he's been acting weird lately SOMETIMES well not really weird but depressed and I wish I actually could do something to not make it that way..like he said words only go so far I guess but he knows I love him..I only tell him a Million times a day but I guess thats what you do when you cant see each other everyday..or even anyday ..im just waiting for spring break even though im dreading it getting over already..I can feel how much it will suck when it comes to saturday when I have to take him to the airport..and he gets on that plane and Leaves me...here......in Michigan....Again until next time which will be his prom gosh life is sad
~steph
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| pictures of you |
[04 Mar 2005|09:37pm] |
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mood |
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 mellow |
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I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I almost believe that they're real
I've been living so long with my pictures of you
That I almost believe that the pictures are
All I can feel
Remembering
You standing quiet in the rain
As I ran to your heart to be near
And we kissed as the sky fell in
Holding you close
How I always held close in your fear
Remembering
You running soft through the night
You were bigger and brighter and wider than snow
And screamed at the make-believe
Screamed at the sky
And you finally found all your courage
To let it all go
Remembering
You fallen into my arms
Crying for the death of your heart
You were stone white
So delicate
Lost in the cold
You were always so lost in the dark
Remembering
You how you used to be
Slow drowned
You were angels
So much more than everything
Hold for the last time then slip away quietly
Open my eyes
But I never see anything
If only I'd thought of the right words
I could have held on to your heart
If only I'd thought of the right words
I wouldn't be breaking apart
All my pictures of you
Looking so long at these pictures of you
But I never hold on to your heart
Looking so long for the words to be true
But always just breaking apart
My pictures of you
There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to never feel the breaking apart
All my pictures of you
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